C is for Avant-Garde

Posted By obooki on September 1, 2010

(A Review, of sorts, of the first 64 pages of C, by Tom McCarthy)

I had an idea a while ago to re-enact Zadie Smith’s classic essay, Two Paths for the Novel, in which she compares and contrasts Joseph O’Neill’s Netherland and Tom McCarthy’s Remainder – the very modern antitheses of the conventional and the avant-garde. There turned out, however, to be an insuperable obstacle to my plan: I couldn’t get beyond 50 pages in either book.

The O’Neill was a rather dull tale about an everyman who liked to play cricket in New York City and became involved in a murder, told in an uninteresting style like every piece of contemporary literary fiction I’ve ever read. While the McCarthy was a rather dull tale about an everyman who’d been involved in an accident, told in an uninteresting style like every piece of contemporary literary fiction I’ve ever read. (Apparently there’s some cricket in it later too, but I didn’t get that far).

So I was confused: – what were these two paths for the novel, neither of which I felt inclined to go down?

Well, it seems the truth is that Tom McCarthy represents the avant-garde. This must be the case, since people are inclined to say this kind of thing about him, “the future of the avant-garde lies in the hands of artist and writer Tom McCarthy”. McCarthy himself however seems a little wary of being tagged with this label of avant-garde; – asked if he considered himself such, he replied in one interview, “One has to be careful how one uses these terms. “The avant-garde” describes a specific historical moment that belongs to the early part of the 20th century. [ed. No, it doesn't]. Certainly in C there is a huge amount of that moment behind the writing; the avant-garde is definitely embedded in it. But at the same time I think it gets used as catch-all term now for something that isn’t retrograde, anything that’s not a kind of nostalgic, kitsch version of the 19th-century novel, which is what much of middlebrow fiction right now is.” – So yes, he’ll admit to being a bit avant-garde, but he wants to qualify it. Similarly, in the following quote: “The avant garde can’t be ignored, so to ignore it – as most humanist British novelists do – is the equivalent of ignoring Darwin. Then you’re just a creationist. It’s ostrich-like. It needs to be worked through – which is not the same thing as imitation;” – or similarly, “I think Britain turned its back on modernism and isn’t dealing with its legacy. You can’t ignore it. You can no more ignore Joyce than you can Darwin. If you ignore Darwin, you’re a creationist, and this is where I think the bulk of “commercial”, “middlebrow” or whatever you want to call the mainstream, British novel is now: back in the 19th century,” – or also, “The task for contemporary literature is to deal with the legacy of modernism. I’m not trying to be modernist, but to navigate the wreckage of that project.”

You have to “work through” the avant-garde, but not “imitate” it. – This may remind us of an idea we mentioned previously about Houllebecq and the nouveau roman: – Houllebecq despised the nouveau roman and claimed never to have managed to finish one in his life; somehow this is equated with him being “influenced” by it, and this very influence making him a good writer.

So perhaps it is with McCarthy: he has worked through modernism, to the extent that his own writing bears not the slightest trace of it. For reading the first 50 pages of Remainder and reading the first 64 pages of C, I would have to say there is little I’ve ever read that is more conventional, that is closer to an epitome of precisely that middlebrow literary fiction he claims to be “ostrich-like”. If McCarthy’s C reminds me of any three novelists in particular (and you’ll have to bear in mind that, through contempt, my knowledge of this middlebrow literary fiction is scant), it’s: Zadie Smith, for the wordplay and that general light comedy feel; Sebastian Faulks, for a very dull story set back in history sometime; and Ian McEwan, for all that contrived symbolism which is ever so artfully put together.

For not merely is C dull, which is enough of a literary crime; but it partakes of that kind of overwrought symbolism which seeks to bludgeon the reader over the head until he’s lying on the ground, his skull fractured and his brains seeping out. The learned Stuart Evers observes dryly in his review: “As one of many of the Cs that litter the book’s aims and concerns, “communication” – its limitations, problems and potential – is the most obvious.” – Yes, it would be hard not to notice it since every single line in the novel seems to refer to it – communication or (as is the way with these things), the failure of communication. Already, just as one instance of this bludgeoning, in the 64 pages I’ve read, there’s quite a few characters who mishear words other characters have said (not in a humorous way, you understand; not even particularly in the manner of Freudian slip, but just enough to make the point that communication isn’t also perfect even at the most simplistic level): – and I’d like to wager, without reading any further, that this happens at least once more in the course of the narrative.

Evers’ seems confused over the amount of research McCarthy has done. Research is, of course, a bad thing; the kind of thing only a conventional novelist would undertake: “It does not take McCarthy long, however, to upset the reader’s expectations [of conventional historical fiction]; there is to be no painstakingly researched birthing scene, no parental anguish.” – Yes, far be it from an avant-garde writer like McCarthy to research how people gave birth in the c19th [ed. through the anus, wasn't it?]; though curiously Evers doesn’t discuss pages 25 to 34, in which McCarthy describes in detail current (or, as it happens, outdated) methods of silk production, all the way from moth to tapestry (it was around here I first began to imagine I’d lose the will to go on; – perhaps if I could have guessed the symbolism, eh, it would have seemed more interesting?). It even seems to be getting to Evers by the end who after all’s only set out to praise; – “ There are occasional longueurs,” he admits, “and the opening of the last section suffers from a rather formal lecture on Egyptian history and archaeology.” (What a pity I didn’t get that far!).

So why is McCarthy considered avant-garde? – Well, I have a theory about that too. I think he’s considered avant-garde, because he says he is (even though, as above, he doesn’t – at least, not necessarily); and I’d hazard this goes back to the kind of people he’s spend his time hanging around – i.e. artists, the type who inhabit the ICA: – conceptual artists, if you desire a modifier. Here’s a good quote from McCarthy, which I think pretty much sums him up as a novelist: “[Ballard was a genius ... [h]e doesn’t care about prose and texture of narrative. He’s almost a conceptual artist.” – So does the writer find his own quality in the master he admires. And that’s everything to me about McCarthy as a writer: he has all these ideas; he has all this philosophy (shallow or profound, as you take it); and yet he has no skill or understanding whatsoever how to render it into a decent novel.

Because he says he is: – and so the quote in the inside jacket is “reminiscent of Bolaño, Beckett and Pynchon”. – I’ll leave aside Pynchon, who I’ve not read enough of (though I recall he was entertaining, which McCarthy isn’t). Bolaño – well, I guess he’s just referenced because everyone likes to reference Bolaño in these times: – in what way his work is similar to those dislocated, excitable first-person narratives obsessed with the discovery of world poetry and the “scene” in Mexico City, I don’t know. – But, Beckett? – Please, can someone explain to me exactly in what way McCarthy is “reminiscent of Beckett”? You can tell me, for instance, John Banville is reminiscent of Beckett and I’d say, Ok, fair enough, I can see the similarities; but McCarthy? – there doesn’t seem to be one thing he has in common with him. – It is just a claim, with no empirical backing whatsoever; a reference, such as the references McCarthy litters his interviews with (check out the links below).

As a comparison, here’s the opening of C:

Dr Learmont, newly appointed general practitioner for the districts of West Masedown and New Elirt, rocks and jolts on the front seat of a trap as it descends the lightly sloping path of Versoie House. He has sore buttocks: the seat’s hard and uncushioned. His companion, Mr Dean of Hudson and Dean Deliveries (Lydium and Environs Since 1868), doesn’t seem to feel any discomfort. His glazed eyes stare vaguely ahead; his leathery hands, reins woven through their fingers, hover just about the knees. The rattle of glass bottles and the fricative rasp of copper wire against more copper wire rise from the trap’s back and, mixing with the click and shuffle of the horse’s hooves on gravel, hang undisturbed about the still September air. Above the vehicle tall conifers rise straight and inert as columns. Higher, much further out, black birds whirr silently beneath a concave vault of sky.

And here’s the opening to Mercier and Camier (to be honest, one of my favourite pieces of writing):

The journey of Mercier and Camier is one I can tell, if I will, for I was with them all the time.

Physically it was fairly easy going, without seas or frontiers to be crossed, through regions untormented on the whole, if desolate in parts. Mercier and Camier did not remove from home, they had that great good fortune. They did not have to face, with greater or lesser success, outlandish ways, tongues, laws, skies, foods, in surroundings little resembling those to which first childhood, then boyhood, then manhood had inured them. The weather, though often inclement (but they knew no better), never exceeded the limits of the temperate, that is to say of what could still be borne, without danger if not without discomfort, by the average native fittingly clad and shod. With regard to money, if it did not run to first class transport or the palatial hotel, still there was enough to keep them going, to and fro, without recourse to alms. It may be said therefore that in this respect too they were fortunate, up to a point. They had to struggle, but less than many must, less perhaps than most of those who venture forth, driven by a need now clear and now obscure.

No, C isn’t for avant garde; – C is for Contrived, Convoluted – Conventional.


(p.s. It was the long scene describing a “school-play” which did it for me: “Off to the side, Maureen and Frieda set up tea and coffee urns on trestle tables while their girls carry out plates laden with pyramids of cucumber and chopped-egg sandwiches” and so on for the 13 pages – yeah, this is your avant-garde!)

Just so you know where I’m coming from with this:

Some writers I’ve read this year whom I’d consider avant-garde: Wilson Harris, Mario de Andrade, Juan Carlos Onetti, Claude Simon, Andrei Bely, Antonio Lobo Antunes, Anna Kavan, Juan Benet, William Goyen

Some writers I’ve read this year who might be considered to share in some way in the avant-garde: Vladimir Nabokov, Antonio Tabucchi, Henri Lopes, Stendhal, Robert Musil, Alejo Carpentier (though not this book), Jose Donoso (though not this book), Boris Pilynak, Jerzy Pilch, Nikolai Gogol, Dorothy Richardson, George Moore, Mia Couto, Max Frisch, Vladmir Odoevsky, August Strindberg, Jorge Luis Borges, Robert Walser, Lidia Jorge, Paolo Volponi, Bohumil Hrabal, Gyula Krudy


Quotes and references:

Zadie Smith, Two Paths for the Novel

Some interview

Another interview

The learned Evers reviews

More interviewing

Books Read – Summer Catch-Up

Posted By obooki on August 31, 2010

Haven’t been updating over the summer, but I’ve certainly been reading (see little reviews). Here are some of the less well-known names:

  • Jabra Ibrahim Jabra, part of my short Arabic project. Palestinian / Iraqi writer, who actually wrote the book I read in English, hence the fact that I’ve still read no Arabic books this year.
  • Pío Baroja, a once famed Spanish / Basque writer, now completely unknown. There’s quite a bit of his stuff floating around on Project Gutenberg, for anyone who’s interested. Belonged to the Generation of ‘98, along with fellow Basque, Unamuno etc.
  • Mário de Andrade, a Brazilian writer and important figure in the modernismo movement. Often seen as a (perhaps, the) precursor of magic realism (writing in the 1920s), but is perhaps as much of a precursor of post-modernism too (certainly ticks all the post-modernist boxes). – Really good, by the way.
  • Zsigmond Móricz, who seems to be considered the greatest Hungarian writer of prose in c20th (by among others Lazslo Nemeth and Peter Esterhazy). A few things of his translated into English (apparently, he’s one of those writers who loses a lot in translation). I also have Relations.
  • Beppe Fenoglio, an Italian writer. (It suddenly occurred to me I hadn’t read any Italians this year, and I do have a fondness for their literature – so now I’ve embarked on a lot of them).
  • Annie Ernaux, French novelist and currently writing. I read this in French, but it is available in English too, as are quite a few of her novels.
  • Henri Lopès, a novelist from the Republic of Congo (that is, the small ex-French colony centred around Brazzaville; rather than the sprawling ex-Belgian colony centred around Leopoldsville/Kinshasa). One of those novelists who also rose to be head of state in his country (or perhaps he was head of state first).
  • Romain Rolland, once a Nobel prize winner, now largely neglected – writer of realist roman fleuves.
  • Antonio Tabucchi, a marvellous Italian writer, with an obsession about Portugal (another Obooki Prize contender).
  • Wilson Harris, a Guyanese writer (yes, that strange English-speaking country in South America). Quite experimental, he’s still alive and writing in English, though to be honest I’d never heard of him till coming across on some list on The Neglected Books site.

Long Books? – Who can be bothered?

Posted By obooki on August 17, 2010

I’m sure there was a post in the Guardian way back about this – it might even have been by the famous author Lee Rourke; anyhow, it occurs that if you look through the books I’ve read in the last 3 years, not one of them’s longer than 500 pages – and in fact, I honestly can’t remember the last book I finished that was over 500 pages (it was probably The Lord of the Rings, though I read it as three books / or Ian Kershaw’s Hitler biography). This is going back about 7-8 years now.

It’s not necessarily for lack of trying. Last year I tried to read Daniel Deronda (got about 150/200 pages in – nothing much was happening), The Egotist (Egoist?) by Meredith (got about 50 pages in – odd style, but bored) and probably some others (Infinite Jest perhaps, though that seems a while back); and then this year there’s Alexander Theroux’s Darconville’s Cat (about 100 / 150 pages in – odd style, but bored); Bolaño’s The Savage Detectives (page 200 or so – nice satire of the Brutalists, but bored); Munif’s Cities of Salt (interesting account of the influence of the West on Saudi Arabian society – about halfway through and might finish one day, but currently stuck).

Why do people write such long books, when they don’t really seem to have that much to say? – In particular, all these books seem to me just to be stretching out their subject matter interminably etc. etc. If you’re going to take up so much of your reader’s time, at least make it interesting, worthwhile. It makes me intimidated ever to pick up a long book again, now I’m quite confident I’ll never get to the end of it. – I must admit, I find non-fiction a lot easier in this regard than fiction.

Anyhow, to defeat my own argument, I should – either this month or next – finish two books over 500 pages; – on the other hand, they’re both books of short stories: – The Treasury of Yiddish Stories (just over 500 pages), and vol 3 of The Arabian Nights (about 550).

Stendhal Season: Armance

Posted By obooki on August 12, 2010

Stendhal’s novels can perhaps be divided into 3 categories, at least in the English-language world (based largely on how often they’ve been published in the last 50 years):

  • Novels you could go into most good bookshops and buy (The Red and The Black, The Charterhouse of Parma)
  • Novels you might have to look about a bit for (Love, The Life of Henri Brulard,  some of the Italian Chronicles)
  • Novels you’ve probably never come across (Armance, Lucien Leuwen, The Pink and The Green, the remainder of the Italian Chronicles, Lamiel)

Having recently finished Stendhal oh so fashionable part-history part-novel oft-footnoted work The Italian Chronicles (those few that made it into the NYRB edition at least), so now I’ve just read Armance (in a nice 50c American pulp fiction edition, complete with red-edged pages). – Oh, the plot? – It’s a love story: girl loves boy, boy loves girl; they are prevented from happiness by a contemptible French high society ripe for satire.

One thing I particularly enjoyed were the epigraphs Stendhal used under his chapter headings. Here are some of the translators notes (the translator being the famously wrong-titled C. K. Scott–Moncrieff):

  • Chapter 2 – “The first of these lines is taken from the Epitaph in Gray’s Elegy, in the notes to which it is not shewn as an “Imitation”. The ascription of the whole to Marlow (sic) is probably, therefore, one of Beyle’s fantasies.”
  • Chapter 4 – “This motto is printed in the French editions as prose. The last two lines are taken from The Merchant of Venice, Act I, Scene III … The ascription to Massinger need not be taken too seriously. Compare Scarlet and Black, chapter XLVI.”
  • Chapter 9 – “Beyle ascribes this motto, which he quotes in French to Burns, thinking possibly of various phrases in the lines To A Field Mouse. In Henri Brulard he again quotes the passage, as from Cymbeline [it is Cymbeline], but gives the speech to Imogen instead of Berlarius.”
  • Chapter 11 – “The first half-line, which is not in Troilus and Cressida, is perhaps a reminiscence of Othello: “Trifles light as air”.”
  • Chapter 18 – “Beyle quotes this motto in French, and attributes it to Schiller [it's Pope].”
  • Chapter 19 – “This motto and that prefixed to Chapter XXII are quoted by Beyle in English, which makes it seem probably that by Deckar he meant the voluminous writer Thomas Dekker … but this quotation, which the French editors religiously print in three lines, imagining it to be a specimen of English poetry, bears the marks of Beyle’s composition.”
  • Chapter 21 – “This line, taken from the Aeneid (I, 207), is inadvertently ascribed by Beyle to Horace.”
  • Chapter 28 – “The last three words are added by Beyle. The source is cited in all the editions as King Henry III [it's King Henry VIII].”

Hmm, misquoting sources – how very modern!

Some non-analysis of a piece of Cormac McCarthy

Posted By obooki on June 24, 2010

With reference to the article in the previous post, there’s a whole chunk which deals with a “difficult” passage from our good friend Cormac, as I quote at length:

The case in point is a passage from Cormac McCarthy’s novel All the Pretty Horses, in which two young ranch hands have had too much to drink and stop their horses in order to vomit. Here’s what McCarthy wrote:

By dark the storm had slacked and the rain had almost ceased. They pulled the wet saddles off the horses and hobbled them and walked of[f?] in separate directions through the chaparral to stand spraddlelegged clutching their knees and vomiting. The browsing horses jerked their heads up. It was no sound they’d ever heard before. In the gray twilight those retchings seemed to echo like the calls of some rude provisional species loosed upon that waste. Something imperfect and malformed lodged in the heart of being. A thing smirking deep in the eyes of grace itself like a gorgon in an autumn pool.

This is the famous drubbing Myers gives it in A Reader’s Manifesto:

It is a rare passage in a rare book that can make you look up, wherever you may be, and wonder if you are being subjected to a diabolically thorough Candid Camera prank. I can just go along with the idea that horses might mistake human retchings for the call of a wild animal. But “wild animals” isn’t epic enough; McCarthy must blow smoke about “some rude provisional species,” as if your average quadruped had table manners and a pension plan. Then he switches from the horses’ perspective to the narrator’s, though just what “something imperfect and malformed” refers to is unclear. The last half-sentence only deepens the confusion. Is the “thing smirking in the eyes of grace” the same thing that is “lodged in the heart of being”? And what is a gorgon doing in a pool? Or is it peering into it? And why autumn pool? I doubt even McCarthy can explain any of this; he just likes the way it sounds.

And here’s Moore, defending the choices of a ‘difficult’ author he admits he’s read nothing of except this one book:

…it’s obvious what he’s doing here. All the Pretty Horses has its comic moments, and when it comes to describing a hangover, every writer feels at liberty to have some fun with it. They will reach for the most ludicrous simile they can find …

The paragraph starts with some sequential alliteration (storm/slacked/ceased), and narratively winks at the reader with the clownish adverb “spraddlelegged,” hinting at the fun to come. The boys’ vomiting is enough to attract the attention of the horses, but the point of view doesn’t change there (I don’t know why Myers thinks it does; and witness his feeble attempt to get a laugh out of it). McCarthy, not the horses, comically compares the sound of their retching to the calls of some prehistoric species to underscore how wretched the boys feel.

… now, the money shot … yes, Mr. Myers, the “thing smirking in the eyes of grace” is the same thing that is “lodged in the heart of being.” It’s an extended metaphor – “retchings” become the “calls of some rude provisional species” that lodge themselves in and thus profane the “heart of being,” just as a “rude provisional species” like a gorgon would profane with its presence an autumn pool. The “imperfect” gorgon is the perfect literary equivalent to a stomach-emptying, chaparral-echoing retch.

Moore claims not to know what “McCarthy specialists” make of the passage in question (he needn’t have advertised his amateur status in all things McCarthy if he thinks the notoriously prickly author would enjoy having one of his similes called “ludicrous”), but he certainly does a good job approximating the kind of slop they’d come up with. Not only does his simile leg itself into a metaphor in mid-spraddle, but his pronouncements do nothing to shore up the enormous weaknesses of the original passage. If anything, Myers is being too gentle – he refrains from pointing out that McCarthy inexplicably has his characters hobbling their wet saddles. And he doesn’t think the point of view changes – his ‘feeble’ joke derives from the fact that in the passage as McCarthy ineptly wrote it, we are inside the horses’ perceptions in the fourth sentence – it’s the most natural thing in the world to assume those perceptions carry over to the fifth sentence, and it’s a very common, very pedestrian lazy-author mistake not to guard your sentence-constructions against just that kind of misstep. McCarthy’s books are absolutely jammed with semi-written passages just like that one, and Myers is right: they yank your head right up off the page.

Here, in Obooki’s opinion, are three dreadful pieces of analysis, one after another, each criticising the other for its misunderstanding; – so I thought, well, let’s make it a fourth:

  1. Firstly, I’d agree with Moore that I don’t find anything in this passage at all difficult. I can read it through and understand it perfectly easily. I am not in the least troubled by any of it.
  2. If you take “them” with “saddles” (as in “they hobbled their saddles”), I’d be inclined to conclude your knowledge of the English language was entirely theoretical; that you’ve probably never conducted a conversation in English in your life. (It’s funny, only last night I was thinking of writing a marvellous article on referencing words and their function within stream-of-consciousness – before, obviously, I laughed and thought better of it and did something more constructive like piss about on the internet for a few hours).
  3. “some rude provisional species loosed upon that waste. Something imperfect and malformed lodged in the heart of being,” – it is “rude” and “provisional” presumably because it doesn’t work properly; it’s digestion doesn’t work, it is vomiting. I quite like the description.
  4. Point of view: a) I have no problem with it. I’d suggest, if you have a problem with the points of view in this passage / whether there are any changes to it/them, then again you probably aren’t very proficient in the English language / have difficulty communicating with other members of the species generally, because I don’t think you can use language on a daily basis without at times accepting an indeterminable point of view to sentences to the extent that you don’t even notice it. b) Of the two: “The boys’ vomiting is enough to attract the attention of the horses, but the point of view doesn’t change there” and “and he doesn’t think the point of view changes – his ‘feeble’ joke derives from the fact that in the passage as McCarthy ineptly wrote it, we are inside the horses’ perceptions in the fourth sentence – it’s the most natural thing in the world to assume those perceptions carry over to the fifth sentence, and it’s a very common, very pedestrian lazy-author mistake not to guard your sentence-constructions against just that kind of misstep”, I think the former is correct, there is no change of perception (only a close-reading critic, particularly if he disliked the author and were looking for something to pin on him, would imagine one): do we, in “The browsing horses jerked their heads up. It was no sound they’d ever heard before,” go inside the horses’ heads; – isn’t it more reasonable to assume that the second sentence is merely an assumption on the part of some narrator based upon the action in the first.
  5. I had no idea reading it about: “A thing smirking deep in the eyes of grace itself like a gorgon in an autumn pool”, but the funny thing is, I just read it and passed on, without feeling any need to analyse it or write essays on it. – The gorgon is obviously a malformed horror, as per the last few sentences. – It’s “smirking … in the eyes of grace” because it’s ashamed of itself, seemingly in an arrogant way, thankful of the allowance of grace to let it be though perhaps expecting all the while at some time to be destroyed – or some such nonsense. – And why’s it in an “autumn pool”? – I don’t know, I daresay it’s hiding there so that it won’t be seen; – it being autumn, of course, the water in the pool is likely to be cold, and therefore it must be desperate to hide in it. This probably has something to do with the gorgon’s being part reptilian so it’d be likely to be plunged into some sort of water source / we have the idea, don’t we, that a lot of reptile are creatures held over from a more antiquated age.
  6. You can see why I used to do so well at English comprehension passage at school. I can go on with bollocks like that for pages at a time if necessary, one thought happily tripping over another.
  7. As a further observation, just as an example of how ordinary people read, I also don’t know what is meant in this passage by our ranch-hands “hobbling” their horses. My conception of a horse being “hobbled”, would be that it had broken its leg and might as well be put down. As I read the passage, I find I can’t apply this interpretation of the word “hobbled”, so my mind inserts another interpretation – that they do something to their horses roughly the equivalent of putting on the handbrake in order to leave them (I still have no idea what they actually do) – and having interpreted it this way, after the merest moment of thought, I merrily continue on my way. (I do this a lot more when I’m reading French).

Critic steals Obooki’s Idea and makes it into a Book

Posted By obooki on June 24, 2010

A man, Steven Moore, has taken one of Obooki’s notions and run with it, turning it into a six-hundred page book. There is a (pretty damning) review of it here.

This is of course Obooki’s highly original idea that there was an avant-garde before the onset of modernism and that perhaps c20th writers aren’t quite so clever and inventive as what they’re made out. (Most of the posts for this are now lost in some text file on my hard drive, and I won’t be digging them out any time soon).

It’s interesting though that Moore’s ultimate intention in identifying elements of modernism before modernism is almost entirely the opposite to Obooki’s. For Obooki imagined, if he could find the avant-garde in earlier writing, then the claims of moderns (claims to originality in general – of the sort, “oh yes, of course Franz Kafka, he was the first to…”; but in particular claims such as: “all books should now be written in a modernist or post-modernist manner for it is only this which is capable of representing the c20th/c21st mind, really how can all these novelists who just write like Balzac conjure up what it means now living in the modern world and how we’ve come to think entirely differently from our Victorian counterparts to the extent that they seem as alien to us people in Heian-era Japan”) could be demonstrated to be hollow. Obooki has the idea that the conventional and the avant-garde have always walked along hand in hand, as a boy and a girl who’ve just fallen in love.

Steven Moore, on the other hand, seeks to use the existence of an antiquity to demonstrate that the avant-garde has a rightful place in the literary canon – perhaps in much the same way (and I’m sure he would appreciate the comparison) as the Romans were always very impressed by the Jewish religion on account of its antiquity – and is not mere annoying (post-)modernist tomfoolery.

Of course, the truth of the matter seems to be that the conventional and the avant-garde have always had a violent contempt for one another; – in this age, however, the boxing-match has reached the 12th round, and the feeble efforts of the boxers to knock one another out induce in the observer only horror, if not pity.

[Obooki apologises for any incompatible metaphors in this piece.]

VAT: A Guide for Poor People to Exploit the System

Posted By obooki on June 23, 2010

You’re poor and the government have increased the VAT rate by 2.5% and you’re wondering how you’ll cope. Well, don’t worry. Here’s an easy guide on how to exploit the VAT system.

The secret that the government wants to keep from you is that not all goods actually have VAT on them. There are numerous loopholes to the system which the middle classes have been exploiting for years:

1. Almost all the raw food (meat, vegetables, cereals, fruit and the like) in your supermarket doesn’t have any VAT on it. This food can be bought and then cooked in an oven (or microwave) to provide meals for you and your family. – Please note, there are certain items which do attract VAT: ice cream, crisps, sweets, roasted and salted nuts, and alcoholic beverages – almost everything, in fact, that you usually purchase in the supermarket (although ready meals are also zero-rated).

2. Most chocolate attracts standard-rate VAT, however there are some exceptions. Marshmallow tea-cakes are zero-rated, as are confectioneries made from cereals and chocolate, chocolate chip biscuits, bourbons and jaffa cakes. Hundreds and thousands are also zero-rated.

3. Unfortunately all alcohol (except alcoholic jellies) has VAT, as do all canned drinks. To avoid VAT, you can instead drink milk, tea, cocoa, coffee or slimming drinks. Water also is non-VATable (unless you buy it in bottles), as are some sports energy drinks.

4. Pet food has VAT on it, as do pets themselves. Consider exchanging your pit-bull for a sheep or a rabbit, neither of which are VATable.

5. Cake is zero-rated. You can eat cake.

6. Plants and seeds used for growing your own food are zero-rated. This may not be suitable for those living in a council estate.

7. Gambling is zero-rated. You can continue wasting your benefits on it.

8. Electricity and gas are charged at 5%, and will not be affected by the budget.

9. While cars are VATable, there are various other vehicles which do not attract VAT: caravans, aeroplanes (both civil and military), airships, helicopters and houseboats. Experiment with different forms of transport.

10. Most consumer goods have VAT on them. This will include those things which currently absorb most of your time: Playstations, XBoxes, PCs, HD TVs, 3D TVs, stereos etc. Try varying your leisure activities. Books and newspapers, for instance, do not have VAT on them. You could buy these and sit quietly and read them.

11. And, if all else fails, burials and cremations do not attract VAT.

WARNING: Following these guidelines may lead to improvement.


I posted this on Polly Toynbee’s budgetry column on CiF. It’s only the second comment I’ve ever had removed.

Books Read/Films Seen – May 2010

Posted By obooki on June 3, 2010

This blog seems finally to be reflecting my feelings about books: – that is, my only real interest is in reading them, and the whole literary world which surrounds that is beneath contempt. (Previously, I guess it only “induced contempt”). Which isn’t a good attitude for a literary blogger I suppose, since I’m basically not left with anything to say.

Here’s the list. (You can find the film link for yourself – it’s over to the right somewhere; but I haven’t watched many films of late).

Most of May I covered earlier, so I haven’t much to add. – May was always going to be a busy month – busy, that is, in terms of not reading books but being obliged to do other less interesting things; – June, on the other hand, is (aside from the World Cup) almost entirely free (although I do intend to do some writing).

Anyway, here are a few writers:

  • Jerzy Pilch is a Polish writer, post-Communist era; and I was really rather impressed. The book I read reminded me a lot of Calvino. (A front-runner, along with Lobo Antunes, for this year’s Obooki Prize. – To be honest, I don’t think he’ll win though).
  • José Rodrigues Miguéis (no English Wikipedia page) was a Portuguese writer, though he lived most of his life (in Republican exile) in the United States (from 1935 to his death in 1980). He’s had a few of his books translated.

And that’s about it. The others I’ve covered at some point before, I feel sure.

    Henry Drury

    Posted By obooki on May 26, 2010

    The work of Henry Drury is sadly overlooked. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of him until today, when a woman at work gave me a humorous anthology of Latin (and Greek) poetry she’d found in her house. He flourished around the middle of the nineteenth century. He was tutor and friend of Lord Byron. Here is an example of his work:

    Humtius in muro requievit Dumtius alto;
    Humtius e muro Dumtius heu! cecidit.
    Sed non regis equi, reginae exercitus omnis,
    Humti, te, Dumti, restituere loco!

    He compiled the important work, Arundines Cami: Sive Musarum Cantabrigiensium Lusus Canori (”The Reeds of the Cam”), which was a bestseller in its day. It can be downloaded here, or otherwise extracted in various ways. Basically, it’s great works of English poetry (and nursery rhymes – they are Victorians, after all!) translated into Latin. – Actually, downloading as pdf is good, because you can put the two pages (English and Latin (or Greek)) side by side.

    Obooki reads a French Novel

    Posted By obooki on May 23, 2010

    …And, I hear you ask? – From what you claim, you’re always reading French novels.

    Yes, but this time was different: – this time I read the novel, in French.

    And I suppose you feel good about that, do you?

    Yes, I do. I feel a sense of achievement.


    In fact, it was one of my many plans this year, to read a few books in French. I was going to set myself a target of 25 – but I’d no idea how realistic this was; – not very, considering we’re up to May and I’ve only finished one. – There’s two more I’m quite close to finishing though.

    To be honest, I think the main problem has been that I started with Jules Verne’s Le Tour de Monde en Quatre-Vingt Jours. – You might consider this a good place to start: it’s pretty simply written, after all; – unfortunately, the story is incredibly tedious: – basically a travelogue, with something very stereotypical occurring in each country they pass through.

    What novel did I read? – Le Passager de la Pluie, by Sébastien Japrisot, a thriller (it is actually translated into English). I guess it was pretty easy-going too, as far as the French went; – and held my interest a lot more.

    Next up, we get into serious territory (and part of the point of this project, which is – if they aren’t going to translate these writers into English, then …) with Régis Jauffret’s Histoire d’Amour, which again looks a) fairly easy-going in terms of vocab and sentence structure; and b) interesting. – No, you won’t find a Wikipedia page for Jauffret (in English at least), or any of his books in English (that I can see). He’s won quite a few literary prizes over there, though; – and seems to be somewhat avant-garde.